It's time to forget about the past the past
To ~wash~ away what happened

A beautiful song used to inspire me...

A picture was once worth a thousand words to me...

A pretty girl once caught my fancy...

I used to find joy in little things, simple things...

I used to find moments when everything was perfect...

No flaws, and for that point in time, my world was complete...

Now I have this shadow...

Every last moment is clouded by it...

I'm not inspired anymore, pictures turn gray...

I dont feel for anyone anymore, I forget what joy feels like...

I havent fealt it for months, years...

I've brought myself to a cold, motionless, unfeeling place...

A place where nothing moves me, nothing has importance...

I hear beautiful music, I see glorious pictures, I see a beautiful girl,

and I am unmoved, I feel nothing...

It's as if I have become a cyborg, caring and thinking about nothing...

This, This is where I am now...this is what I have become...

I never understood depressed people, people without hope...

Now, I see why, because, when nothing is going how you planned in your life,

I suppose its easy to get depressed...to get downtrodded...

Everything Ive ever worked for is gone...Everything I ever wanted to be is lost...

Everyone I ever befriended or loved has moved past...

Nothing that I wanted to happen has...

I suppose I've been moved by a song lately...I heard one, sad and silent, cold...

Speaking of loss...speaking of a wasted life...which is mine...

Speaking of wasted relationships, wasted time, wasted talent....

There was a time, not too long ago that I looked at everything...

Everything was perfect, I was going to a sweet college, I had lots of great friends...

I had finally completed the previous stage of my life with flying colors...

I had the girl...

Now, on the verge of losing everything...college has gone awful...

I've lost most my friends...

That previous stage seems so long ago...

There is no girl...

And I sit down every night at my boring desk, in my boring dormroom, and try to cry...try to release some emotion...to feel Im still human...but there are no tears...nothing comes out, so I just sit there, motionless, thinking about what point in time I would go back to if I had a time machine, where would I go to start over from...and how I would do everything differently...how I would try to actually live